Matt Legend Gemmell Modesty is Lying

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Posted
28 September 2005 @ 5pm

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Professor of Cunning

Once again, it’s vintage chatloggery from the inimitable (and who’d want to?) Neil.

Today’s topic (like on so many other days) was Neil’s continuing quest for a lady. Quoth he:

Neil: I’ve hatched a cunning plan.
Neil: well not so much “cunning” as “unlikely to work”
Neil: Phase 1) Join the University Gym
Neil: Phase 2) Buy an iPod nano and an armband
Neil: Phase 3) ?????
Neil: Phase 4) Have sex with a girl
Matt: dude, that is perhaps the best plan ever
Neil: I think a nano strapped round my guns will get me chicks
Matt: ah the guns
Matt: they’ll getcha
Neil: I plan to do the Ron Burgundy counting trick
Matt: oh the DEEP BURN

Will Neil’s “guns” get him a tasty “chick”? Will he actually do more than a thousand reps? Is an iPod nano really enough for today’s discerning woman? And perhaps most importantly, what colour of nano armband will he wear? Tune in next time to probably not find out.


4 Comments

Phil Ulrich
28 September 2005 @ 5pm

I’m not sure I dare mention this for fear of encouraging Neil, but I once attracted a lady’s eye purely by the virtue of a bright green iPod mini strapped to my arm while working out.

Mind you, nothing came of it, but here’s to the iPod lure plan!


Neil
29 September 2005 @ 1pm

Bah, that does make me sound rather more pathetic than I am….

But we do all know that the only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show! [Kisses biceps]


Darcy
30 September 2005 @ 3am

OmniWeb seems to have a bug, step 3 didn’t appear correctly. I’ve got a single friend who’s MSN nickname was “my iPod is broken.” She might be interested in borrowing a brand new nano from an athletic guy. Girls do like the iPods though. I gave one to my wife as a wedding gift.


Neil
30 September 2005 @ 11am

Ah are you being amusing or have you not heard of The Underpant Gnomes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underpants_Gnomes)?

In the South Park episode titled “Gnomes (Underpants Gnomes)”, the Underpants Gnomes are a community of underground gnomes who steal underpants, notably from Tweek.

The Underpants Gnomes have a three-phase business plan, consisting of:

1. Collect underpants
2. ???
3. Profit!

It’s since been bastardised on /. for anything that has a first stage and a goal but no obvious way to meet this goal…. kinda like a lot of internet businesses ;)

Oh and say hi to your friend from me ;)


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