Matt Legend Gemmell Modesty is Lying

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Even Optimus gets depressed

In which Neil and I tackle the age-old question: pretty French news presenter, or giant machines which are more than meets the eye?

Incidentally, if anyone can suggest a way to phonetically write the transforming noise so that I can use it regularly in MSN chats, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Matt: man I cannot WAIT to see this movie tonight
Matt: <TRANSFORMING NOISE>
Neil: do not make that noise in the cinema.
Matt: dude, I am making that noise all fucking evening
Neil: make sure to do it at the urinals
Neil: is it a bit odd having this as a desktop background?
Matt: yep
Matt: who is she?
Neil: Melissa Theuriau
Neil: french news presenter
Neil: she’s scrumptious
Neil: there’s a compilation video of her just reading out random bits of news that has 1.5 million views on YouTube
Neil: I have no idea what she’s saying but mmmmmm
Matt: meh
Matt: she’s alright
Matt: TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
Neil: Would you rather see Transformers or (assuming you were single) make love to Melissa Theuriau?
Matt: if I did one, would I have the chance to do the other thing later?
Neil: nope
Matt: and would I have to go to france?
Neil: no, she’d come to you
Matt: ok
Matt: well transformers then
Matt: I’m not missing that for a shag
Neil: yeah, fair point.
Neil: If you could see it, but you’d have to wait six months?
Matt: again, transformers
Matt: then have a wank
Neil: ok
Matt: and you?
Neil: I’d take the woman if it was six months… the film if never.
Matt: that’s truly sad
Matt: robots in disguise before hoes
Neil: I’d still get the robots
Neil: and this is a very special hoe.
Matt: BEFORE
Neil: disagreed.
Matt: maybe I’d have a different opinion if I’d been single for a while
Matt: I just can’t help but imagine Optimus Prime crying little tears of motor-oil
Matt: looking in the window at you and that french bird
Matt: it would be heart-wrenching
Matt: then he’d turn away and say to Jazz and Bumblebee and all, “Autobots… transform and roll out”
Matt: but his eyes would be glowing a slightly dimmer blue than usual, and you’d hear in his voice that his heart wasn’t really in it anymore, Matrix of Leadership or not.
Matt: if Megatron or Starscream chose that day to launch an attack, it could be the difference between a victory and a horrible defeat
Matt: Prime could die, and it’d be your fault
Matt: and even worse
Matt: maybe Bumblebee would get the Matrix
Matt: I mean, Bumblebee Prime?
Matt: FOR FUCK’S SAKE
Matt: You really need to get a hold of yourself.
Neil: good rant.
Matt: thank you
Neil: almost bloggable
Matt: it had crossed my mind

3 Comments

Gary Fleming
30 July 2007 @ 11pm

Shame the film was absolute poop, eh?


Matt Legend Gemmell
1 August 2007 @ 9am

So’s your face.


David Buttar
16 August 2007 @ 7pm

I thought the film was good. Maybe you’ve had to much beer again Gary.


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