Vote them off? Let's just kill every motherfucking one of them.
I very briefly watched the intro to the new series of Big Brother
last night, since it came on right after the last episode of Friends,
which Fiona was of course watching. This is the first time I've ever
watched BB for more than a transient moment whilst channel-hopping,
though I'm of course aware of the premise and format of the show.
I managed to endure the bald, gay, squealing law student only with
a supreme effort of will (lots of luck getting work in the legal
profession, mate). Then the git in the hat. Then the buff dude in
the tiger-print posing pouch. Then I had to leave the room before
I destroyed the TV.
Look, let's face facts: these people are the worst kind of scum; the
dregs of society. People of low intelligence and lacking any real values,
willing to do literally anything for some pre-packaged fame and notoriety.
Given the choice of being "famous" (in Britain) for having humiliated
myself on Big Brother, or being shot in the balls, I'd be wearing
boxer shorts with a fucking target on the front.
These people are a complete and utter waste of life, interesting
only in the same way that the mangled wreckage of a motorway pile-up
involving a school bus irresistibly draws the eye. So, let's at least
get some social justice happening and vote to KILL one of them each week.
The variety could come from the method of death changing each time: maybe
a poisonous snake or some scorpions left in their bed, or some acid in the
shower's water-heater. Let's not forget the tried and tested hail of
armour-piercing bullets, or perhaps just a thorough beating with a golf club.
Channel 4, I personally guarantee I'd phone in to vote and I'd watch your
nauseating moron-show each and every week, if only you would execute some
of these cunts instead of celebrating their brain-addled capering and
spurring them on to new lows of debasement and sub-humanity.
Remember, they're consuming valuable oxygen <em>even now</em>.