Matt Gemmell

My new book CHANGER is out now!

An action-adventure novel — book 1 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Chaos magic

Personal 1 min read

As I mentioned previously, I spent the weekend in Dumfries with Lauren. Little did I know that the trip would include a visit to a place straight out of the Legend of Zelda, and an encounter with a truly terrifying technology.

I took the train down on Saturday morning, and we had a quiet day in, naturally watching the new Doctor Who in the evening (which I thought was promising and pretty enjoyable). On Sunday, it was decided that we would take a drive out to that most mystical of places, and home of the fairy folk: Mabie Forest (pronounced “maybe”). I envisioned perhaps a forest which magically disappeared periodically, and thus would only maybe be there when you arrived (a bit like Castle Duckula, now that I think about it). To find out whether or not the forest does possess such magical properties, you’ll just have to visit it yourself.

I will reveal, however, that it is known to be home to freak weather:

Mabie Hurricane

loved-up couples:

Matt and Lauren
Matt and Lauren again

and even strange amphibious vehicles:

Hydro-Volvo

We had a great time at Mabie Forest, even with the significant number of colour-coded walking-route diversions created by the mischievous woodland pixies in an attempt to confuse travelers. When we got home later, however, things got decidedly more terrifying.

I was in the kitchen getting ready to make dinner for Lauren, Lisa and myself, and happened to glance at the microwave. One of the buttons was rather ominously labelled:

Turbo bake!

but far more chilling (no reverse-pun intended) was another function this devilish machine supposedly provided:

CHAOS defrost!

I imagined activating it and seeing the End of Days, as the very essence of chaos itself was thawed out to wreak untold havoc upon the unsuspecting world. You’d think Panasonic would be more careful than to provide the gateway to armageddon in a kitchen appliance.

Notwithstanding the threat of possibly the most dangerous microwave in all the universe, the weekend was a success, and it was great to see Lauren again after the almost-unbearable 3 days we were apart. She’s coming back up to the city for a day later this week to see me before she goes on holiday with her family next weekend, so that should be great.

That is, assuming no-one triggers CHAOS DEFROST first. If that happens, holiday arrangements will be the very least of our worries.