Matt Gemmell

My new book CHANGER is out now!

An action-adventure novel — book 1 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Envelopes

University 1 min read

Neil, on Tesco’s envelopes.

Yet another chatlog in our ongoing virtual sitcom.

Neil:I have a small rant about envelopes.
Matt:proceed.
Neil:I bought some in Tesco to post your DVDs in
Neil:and not only do they insist on making me buy them in packs of 50
Neil:never mind the fact that I've only sent about two letters in the last 5 years
Neil:the only envelopes Tesco sells are too small to fit DVDs in by 10mm.
Neil:I feel like writing a letter of complaint.
Matt:argh
Neil:Those extra envelopes are going to fester in my room for the next 10 years.
Matt:unless
Matt:you were to use them in a poison letter campaign against the head of Tesco
Neil:good thinking!
Neil:Actually I'll start with the cashier who served me (who was mildly retarded.. took him 3 minutes and two trips to get more bottles for him to remove the security tag from my gin), then the duty manager at the time I was there, then the head of the store, then the regional manager and so on
Matt:work your way up the ladder
Matt:so what's the final aim of this campaign then?
Neil:Hopefully being invited to Tesco head quarters for a running man style competition where if I triumph I am awarded ownership of tesco
Matt:and if you fail?
Neil:They give me Asda.