Matt Gemmell

My new book CHANGER is out now!

An action-adventure novel — book 1 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Final Cut

University 4 min read

One possible ending to the epic saga of Bob & Wendy.
Matt:I feel another ridiculous plan coming on
Bob:another one?
Matt:I'm pretty sure it's not just indigestion
Bob:i'll strap myself in
Matt:ok,
Matt:picture the scene:
Matt:it's friday 4th june
Matt:exams are done, we're all in Jim's
Matt:except yourself
Bob:where am i?
Matt:we'll get to that
Bob:but soon, i hope
Matt:Hans has come along to socialise with Wendy's uni friends, as a gesture of commitment and an expression of his desire to strengthen the relationship
Bob:nefarious
Matt:however, our crowd is having none of it. It's a bit awkward.
Matt:and not just because everyone fancies Wendy anyway.
Bob:heh
Matt:so the evening wears on a little
Matt:folk start pairing off in that bizarre other-worldly way that folk do when they know it's the last night out of the year
Matt:the dream of chalmers on one knee and emma on the other is fulfilled
Matt:so it's all going well
Matt:I am sitting observing all this calmly and soberly, I might add, watching the clock.
Bob:waiting for your lift home?
Matt:something like that
Matt:but, drama unfolds!
Matt:everyone notices suddenly raised voices, and sees that Hans and Wendy are having a serious argument
Matt:tempers flare, and things are said which cannot be taken back
Bob:he's a mad fool
Matt:fueled both by alcohol and my great screenwriting,
Matt:he becomes literally a mad fool
Bob:prescient
Matt:fatalistically decreeing that if he can't have her, then no-one can!
Matt:it's that nightmare of nightmares, the broken bottle of Stella
Matt:carelessly discarded by me earlier on.
Matt:it seems that just about nothing can save her,
Matt:since everyone is wrecked anyway, and stunned into silence and immobility.
Matt:there is a moment where it appears that everything has stopped still, between two ticks of the clock
Matt:then
Matt:from nowhere
Matt:a goddamn sword CUTS THROUGH REALITY
Matt:from Somewhere Else
Matt:and you step through the dimensional portal
Bob:in biker gear?
Matt:if you like
Bob:and i do
Matt:but with the sword, obviously.
Matt:a quick SWWWWWIIIIIIPE of the sword, and not only is the bottle no longer a problem, but neither is the dude's whole motherfucking ARM
Matt:to which I have to say, mad psychotic props.
Bob:he had it coming
Matt:crazed with pain, fear, and loss, he charges you
Matt:but you sidestep, and he falls into the portal right before it snaps shut
Matt:sealing him in limbo for all time
Bob:i'm guessing i'm something of a legend at that point
Matt:well it's funny you should say that
Matt:I think we can all agree that that would be one of the very coolest things ever to happen anywhere
Matt:this is not lost upon Wendy
Matt:there is a passionate embrace, and the crowd just goes fucking nuts
Matt:I'm talking whistles, roaring applause, even lighters
Matt:LIGHTERS dude.
Bob:whoopin' and a-hollerin'
Matt:even my Zippo, which I bought for just such an occasion
Bob:and chris's... generic lighter?
Matt:that certainly puts in an appearance
Bob:auspicious
Matt:at this point, Stevie Gray walks over in his role as barperson
Matt:then there's the obligatory agonising "joke" moment, of some sort
Bob:brr
Matt:where someone says something painfully corny and/or embarrassing, and the entire crowd erupts into hysterical laughter, like it's the funniest thing they've ever heard
Matt:like, he'd ask what you wanted to drink, and say that it was on the house,
Matt:and you'd say that you'd "give your right arm" for a drink
Matt:but it would actually be funny, in that weird way it is in movies.
Bob:that would be ace, really
Matt:then it would all freeze-frame on everyone laughing, and her in your arms, but the way-cool music would continue on
Matt:then you've got the credits etc.
Matt:christ that would fucking rock.
Bob:perhaps that would happen with any sword in my hands
Bob:(closes eyes)
Bob:damn, still here
Matt:you have a sword?
Bob:more like a butter-knife
Matt:ahh right
Bob:and, i didn't really go and get one
Matt:that's some of my best work in this field so far
Bob:it certainly takes it to a whole new level
Matt:a whole new DIMENSION of aceness, you might say.
Matt:I mean, I wouldn't say that
Matt:but someone might.
Bob:i was going to
Matt:well there you go.