Matt Gemmell

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Google Moto Quotes

business & tech 1 min read

I read the official quotes from Android handset manufacturers about Google’s acquisition of Motorola with considerable glee. They’re… somewhat formulaic, shall we say.

For example, here’s Peter Chou, CEO of HTC:

“We welcome the news of today‘s acquisition, which demonstrates that Google is deeply committed to defending Android, its partners, and the entire ecosystem.”

Feels edited somewhat. Like, say, Google gave them a spec quote and told them not to deviate too far from it, or there would be (further) consequences. Here’s a possible (and entirely hypothetical, oh goodness yes) original version:

We would welcome a coherent statement of intent from Google regarding its future plans for Android licensing.

Instead, we received the news of today’s acquisition, which demonstrates that Google is deeply ambivalent towards its existing hardware partners on whom Android’s success has heretofore rested.

We feel that Google has betrayed us, even though we have long been committed to defending Android as a viable smartphone platform despite the immediate, falling-chandelier-like fragmentation of the user experience, the nonexistence of a hardware baseline, and a bizarre lottery on future software updates.

Once again, Google demonstrates a combination of cluelessness and contempt for its partners, and the entire ecosystem.

On a personal note, Larry: fuck you.”