As of November 5th, I’ve been married to Lauren (@coffeemuffins) for a whole year. Handily, it’s easy to remember (remember) the 5th of November, since it’s Guy Fawkes Night here in the UK. We get free fireworks every year, and we assume they’re primarily for our benefit.
At temporal milestones such as these, it’s common to say that it the time has either flown in, seeming to have passed much more quickly than expected, or that it’s difficult to believe so little time has passed. Both feel true to me in this case; it feels like both much longer and far less than a year.
I thought it’d be fun to share a mini-gallery of my wife and I throughout our relationship so far. We met whilst we were both on Summer scholarships in the Department of Computing Science at the University of Glasgow. She was in the year below.
We worked in the honours lab most of the time, and I recall that she was there for the first week, then away on holiday for two weeks, then she returned. Someone (maybe even me; I can’t remember) had a digital camera, and I decided to take a photo of her whilst she was looking through some actual printed photos from her holiday. I think she noticed me taking the shot.
We got together not long after the Summer, and the rest is history. Here’s a selection of photos from the intervening years, wherein you can watch me get older without Lauren appreciably ageing at all. Such is the way of things.
Something does change when you make a formal commitment, and there’s a different quality to it than for the various previous stages of a relationship (which for us were dating, living together, getting engaged, and buying property together, in that order). The dynamics of the situation are altered.
Acceptance of another person as a permanent part of your own life shifts from being a choice you’re making, and becomes something that has already taken place. As a fundamentally rather selfish and immature person, this was quite a revelation for me. My perception of the nature of our relationship changed in a way I hadn’t even remotely anticipated. What’s left is a sense of having a unified front, whatever your occasional internal disagreements might be. What’s left is The Team. I spent a while trying to find a less flippant term, but on reflection I think it’s perhaps the most suitable analogy.
I’d say that we’ve settled into the role of Smug Married Couple with characteristic aplomb, and I still delight in using all the terminology of matrimony at every opportunity. I love my wife dearly, and I look forward to continuing our journey through life together.