Matt Gemmell

My new book CHANGER is out now!

An action-thriller novel — book 1 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

The McInnes Scale

university 1 min read

For considerably more than a year now, we’ve all been accustomed to the quite legendary Mark “the Boy” McInnes rating each day (and indeed often each part of each day) using his own private scale, the details of which he never revealed… until now.

At last, we have an explicit breakdown of each rating, straight from the horse’s mouth.

0: Everyone is dead, worst case scenario, used only when things couldn't possibly be worse.

1: May as well skip forward 24 hours things are that bad, today may as well not happen.

2: Feeling really baws, really tired, can't be arsed with anything or anybody.

3: Pretty baws, tired and can't be bothered.

4: Bit baws

5: Not toooo bad, can't complain too much

6: Alright

7: Pretty damn good

8: Damn Ace

9: Soo good we are almost off the richter.

10: Won the lottery, get it up yeeeees.

There you have it, ladies and gents. Now we can all put the McInnes Scale to good use in our daily lives. I propose that the actual units be Boys, both in honour of how Mark has always been called “the Boy” within our group, and also because it sounds extremely dubious to rate something as “2 Boys”, but I’m open to other units, and indeed symbols for same. Any suggestions?