Matt Gemmell

My new book CHANGER is out now!

An action-thriller novel — book 1 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

The Mattress

personal 1 min read

Tonight I’m having dinner with Lauren, her younger sister Lisa, and her parents. Lauren was on the phone to her folks last night, and they’d apparently found my blog yesterday; they were actually quoting bits of it to her over the phone. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not, but I guess it’ll certainly provide plenty of conversation (and I said conversation, not interrogation).

Incidentally, the title of this post is due to the fact that Lauren’s mother seemingly said that the blog title looked more like “the Mattress” than “the Mattness”. Now I can’t look at the title without seeing “mattress”; Mrs. Dempster certainly has a point.

This is one of those situations that can either be a car-crash or can go really well. On the plus side they’re both Computing teachers at high school level, and her father went to the same high school as I did (the esteemed HSG). On the down side, well, they were making note of how I said the other day that I’d wished Lauren a happy birthday “for perhaps the twelfth time since midnight”. Hmm.

It should be an interesting evening in any case, and I’ll blog about any particularly amusing and/or excruciating parts, so you can all have a good laugh. And by the way, I’ve already had the film Meet the Parents mentioned to me several times, so don’t bother doing that. Thanks.

If anyone has any last-minute advice, feel free to post a comment. Otherwise I’ll just fall back on my usual tactic or lapsing into nonsense French at awkward moments, or desperately imploring my mobile phone to “beam me up”. That ought to do it.