Matt Gemmell

TOLL is available now!

An action-thriller novel — book 2 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Computing Heroes

university 1 min read

Overheard in the QM last night:

I think of Comp Sci less as Losers' Club and more as Superhero Training School.

Yeah, ok; it was me who said it. Thing is, lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of clumsiness on my part, as evidenced by the following:

  • I managed to accidentally de-tune channel 1 on someone's TV.
  • I then kicked over a glass of coke which was sitting on the floor, spilling it on that same person's carpet.
  • The next day, I managed to spend about 40 minutes trying to get the TV re-tuned properly (which I eventually did).
  • I completely fucked up parking the car on said day. It was a left-hand downhill reverse around a corner and over into a space on the opposite side of the road, in fairness, but nevertheless. Mounted the pavement, scraped the rims a little, the whole deal. Shoddy.

And quite probably more. In my defense, I did manage to feed onto the motorway last night, get straight into the fast lane, and then drive sufficiently fast and dangerously that I was past the city centre exit before 2 and a half further minutes had elapsed, as timed on the CD player’s track time display. Legendary.

I was also collating the timetables of myself and the other CompSoc board members in order to schedule a regular weekly meeting, and when emailing Lauren to ask for a list of times she was available during the week, I decided that a simple request would be too boring. I sent this instead:

(guitar intro for 8 bars)

# I need your timetable, baby
# So CompSoc can schedule to meet
# Just a list of times you're free, baby
# That's all that I need
# (oh yeah...)

# Ain't talkin' 'bout love
# Just need to know what times you're FREE
# Ain't talkin' 'bout love
# And so we can meet for COFFEE
# (for coffee, yeah baby)

(guitar solo glory for 9 minutes)

(crowd goes utterly goddamn crazy)

I thank you.