Matt Gemmell

TOLL is available now!

An action-thriller novel — book 2 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Great King of Evil

personal 1 min read

I'm going to let you in on a dream of mine. Well, let's call it an 
ambition; might as well be optimistic. It began a few years ago, 
when I first played <em>Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time</em> on 
the N64.
As you're hopefully aware, when you're about to engage in a boss 
battle in <em>Ocarina</em>, the boss enters to the sound of 
dramatic trumpet notes, and its name and description <strong>appear in mid-air</strong> 
before it. That's what I want to happen whenever I enter a room.

I want a blaring, discordant brass-section fanfare to herald 
my arrival, and I want something like this to appear in the air before 
Great King of Evil
Now that's what I'm goddamn talking about. Whatever else you might 
say about him, you have to admit that Ganondorf sure as hell 
<a href="">knew how to make an entrance</a>.
Update: I've managed to find an old IRC chatlog where I expressed this dream previously:
Matt:you know, I was playing a videogame the other day,
Matt:and I'd reached a "boss" character at the end of a level,
Matt:as the boss approached, its name appeared in the air,
Matt:and underneath it said "Great King of Evil"
Matt:and there was dramatic music.
Matt:I want that to happen when I walk into rooms.
Pam:oh god
Matt:I would pay serious money for that.
Matt:I want to be able to walk into the bank,
Matt:and everything goes slightly dim
Matt:there's dramatic sinister music
Matt:lots of blaring trumpets etc
Matt:then my name appears in glowing letters in mid-air
Matt:with "Great King of Evil" below
Matt:damned if I'd be waiting in a queue after that.
Pam:lol Matt
Ken:The other Great Kings of Evil will want the title back
Matt:Ken, without their dramatic intro they'll be crushed beneath my iron boot.
Matt:of evil.
Matt:don't get me wrong;
Matt:I won't be very evil
Matt:I'll probably keep kittens and things like that.
Matt:But you have to use the right language.
Matt:they'll be Kittens of Evil.