A long time ago (well, at least 2 years ago anyway), I wrote an article entitled
"<a href="http://www.scotlandsoftware.com/learn/crimefighter/">How to be a Crimefighter</a>".
The exact reason I wrote it escapes me at the moment, but it was likely primarily related to my
rabid fandom of Disney's now-sadly-discontinued "Darkwing Duck" cartoon series.
The article was a semi-serious exploration of how well popular fiction's crimefighting myths fit
into real life (i.e. not very). Periodically, I receive email regarding it, and it's usually of
quite a disturbing nature. None more so than the most recent contribution.
we are nightwalkers.
i cannot tell you more than that we are crim fighters, looking for volunteers.
for more informations email back, or visit
just copy and paste the adress.
Incidentally, the subject-line was "we need help". Quite.
If anyone out there in blog-land happens to need a moderately unhinged gang of angsty teens in home-made
costumes to come over (via public transport, I'd wager) and <em><strong>defend those less able to defend themselves</strong></em>
in your area, I dare say you've hit the jackpot.
In the interests of saving a lot of typing, here's a belated set of important notes for those who arrive at this site
and want to get in touch with me after having read the crimefighter article:
- I'm not a costumed crimefighter (I've retired, actually - the tights gave me a heat-rash).
- Thank you, but I don't wish to enlist your vigilante services at the moment. I'll keep your martial-arts arsenal inventory
on file for six months, and contact you if my needs change.
- I don't wish to join your league of dark justice. I must refuse the free cape and mask.
- The Mattmobile is a Fiat Tipo 1.4 Formula, which gets quite sensible MPG. I declined the flamethrower option in favour of a sunroof.
- I'd really prefer not to receive the drippingly-florid yet semi-literate spine-tingling promotional blurb about
your superhero group and/or alter-ego.
- I have no arch-nemesis, except perhaps that bastard with the Peugeot 307 who keeps taking my parking-space. Oh, and Doctor
Destructo, of course, but we actually get on much better since he dedicated his time to landscape gardening.
- For the love of god, DON'T send me photos of you in your costume, nor even links to such photos.* I will
call the police.
Yes, all of those points address genuine emails I've received in the past regarding the
article. The world is a funny place.