Matt: | right, |
Matt: | pull yourself together |
Matt: | let me just tell you something right now |
Matt: | it's this: |
Matt: | I'm the sort of bloke who likes to take direct action. |
Matt: | decisive action, indeed. |
Matt: | even if it's ridiculous and not at all thought-through, |
Matt: | I like to ACT. |
Matt: | that's just how I'm made. |
Matt: | in accordance with this, I recommend the following course of action. |
Matt: | now stay with me here. |
Bob: | i just know you're going to say something that'll make me queasy |
Matt: | have faith |
Matt: | what you do is this |
Bob: | here we go... |
Matt: | this all really hinges on your being able to engineer a situation whereby an old lady appears to be getting mugged by Hans, just when Wendy happens by. |
Matt: | we'll take that as a given for the moment |
Matt: | we can figure out the logistics later. |
Bob: | right |
Matt: | so, she sees him mugging this old dear |
Matt: | she's outraged, naturally |
Matt: | by stunning coincidence, you're right there, just wandering along minding your own business |
Matt: | he sees that he's been discovered, and knows he'll never convince her of his innocence |
Matt: | so immediately does the obvious thing, and tries to escape |
Matt: | this is where it gets clever |
Matt: | so, being the butch sort of heroic dude that you seemingly are in this story, you give chase |
Bob: | i do have a decent sprint |
Matt: | but it seems you'll be foiled, for he dashes into a BT internet phonebooth, and proceeds to "Hack The System", disabling the brakes on a train which you can see speeding by on a nearby rail-bridge |
Matt: | Wendy is shocked and terrified by this |
Bob: | the cad |
Matt: | dashing into an adjacent net booth, you have only moments to avert disaster |
Matt: | because of the workings of the whole net booth and train brakes system, salvation depends solely on your ability to quickly develop a statistics gathering and charting class in the Java programming language |
Matt: | the poor fool doesn't know what hit him; you accomplish this with ease! |
Matt: | the train screeches to a halt just in time |
Bob: | I rule! |
Matt: | Wendy can scarcely contain her admiration |
Matt: | well, I guess in stories like this, she just plain can't contain her admiration. |
Matt: | etc etc. |
Matt: | now there are rough edges, I'll admit that readily. |
Matt: | but I think the framework is sound. |
Bob: | now it's just a question of biding my time |
Matt: | someone should probably also check into that whole train thing |
Matt: | I didn't actually investigate the feasibility of it before typing |
Matt: | but you know computers; you can make them do just about anything these days. |
Bob: | i hear there's an XML-RPC gateway |
Matt: | if they can remove red-eye from my photos, they can control a damn train. |