Matt Gemmell

TOLL is available now!

An action-thriller novel — book 2 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

The necessary arrangements

general 1 min read

A morbid topic, perhaps, but you must make plans for how you want to be remembered after you pass on.

Matt:I have a request
Matt:as my closest friend, I expect you to honour this
Matt:whenever I die, assuming you're still around (which seems reasonably likely), you must take every possible step to ensure that my death certificate states that the cause of death was "TERMINAL HANDSOMENESS"
Neil:I will quit my job and take a position in the coroner's office.
Matt:well I tell you, I sure would appreciate it
Neil:If you want at your funeral I'll stand up, start to talk and then start wailing and break down crying shouting "HE WAS JUST TOO GODDAMN HANDSOME"
Neil:"This world was never meant for one as handsome as him"
Neil:of course I'd be lying as you're an ugly fucker.
Neil:but still.
Matt:obviously I'll return the favour if Neil should be snatched away from us before I am
Matt:since we're talking about this, I just need to confirm: you obviously want your gravestone to be a huge stone cock, right?
Neil:you'd have thought so, but actually no... I want a life size statue of me on top of my grave
Matt:ah of course
Neil:chain mail
Matt:nice one