I’ve been remiss in posting more instalments in the Neil chatlog saga, which continues every weekday. Here’s a choice excerpt from yesterday.
Matt: N-P Neil: M-G Matt: how was the funeral on friday? Neil: aye, was OK... mum and sister were pretty upset but my father and I were our usual inappropriate selves Matt: any Wedding Crashers style action? Neil: heh nah.. one moderately hot second cousin there who I hadn't seen for about 10 years but a) I don't know if that's too close b) her father was sitting beside her and c) my father was sitting beside me Matt: right Matt: 2nd cousin is fine I think Matt: in the eyes of god and man Neil: One of my friends was staying with his aunt and cousin in Australia for 3 months and nearly got kicked out for asking at the dinner table whether "It's OK to marry your cousin in Australia". Matt: hah Neil: To be fair, his cousin is a slamming hottie. Matt: normal enough question then Neil: now that's a collection... http://www.engadget.com/2007/01/28/every-nes-game-ever-on-ebay/ Matt: core! Neil: you'd never have time to play them all if you bought it though Matt: you could MAKE TIME Matt: I mean with a machine Matt: perhaps called Matt: The TimeFactory Matt: and its time-destroying counterpart, the Timeinator Neil: Timmy The TimeFactory Matt: well you could name it whatever you wanted yeah Neil: yeah cause if anyone argued with you you'd go back in time to the day of their conception and kick their dad in the nads Matt: TIME STYLE Matt: that qualifier should be applied to all activities performed during time-travel Matt: I totally watched the Norman Conquest... Matt: ... TIME STYLE! Matt: etc Matt: I'm changing that to just the Battle of Hastings Neil: ok Matt: you probably wouldn't want to be away for that long Matt: it probably smelled pretty bad Matt: and you'd find out that all the buxom wenches were in fact diseased, toothless illiterates Neil: agreed Matt: ugh Matt: ThePast--; Matt: though Neil: yeah, and they'd be all hairy and disease ridden Matt: ThePast(withTimecopStyleUzis)++; Neil: and guitars Neil: Bill and Ted style Matt: WYLD STALLYNS Neil: hrm this is a little worrying... I contribute to a share purchase plan at work and it seems the money coming out of my pay cheque hasn't actually made it to the share account at any point. If I go to the web site I can't log in with my details. If I enter my username it sends me my username and password I then try to log in with those and it won't work... Neil: so i phone them and the woman claims that my username isn't the one that the website tells me it is.. Neil: but she can't tell me over the phone so it's coming snail mail Matt: hrm Matt: bizarre Neil: it's even weirder... I phoned the automated voice unit there and it recognises that the shares are in my account. but the paper statement received last week doesn't have them included. Neil: heads are going to roll Neil: ... TIME STYLE Matt: TIME STYLE!
Update: Another snippet, this time from this very afternoon:
1:38:41 pm Matt: do you recycle? 1:39:02 pm Neil: Not in my flat, no. 1:39:27 pm Neil: They don't give recycling bins and such so it's too much hassle 1:39:32 pm Neil: THE PLANET ISN'T WORTH MY TIME 1:40:09 pm Matt: unless, presumably, you were in fact Captain Planet 1:40:17 pm Matt: (he's a hero) 1:40:59 pm Neil: I heard something about him reducing pollution to zero. 1:41:06 pm Neil: which I think is essentially impossible. 1:41:09 pm Neil: He's all talk, no action. 1:41:57 pm Matt: and green hair too, as I recall. I've never trusted people with green hair. He needs to get a real job and perhaps contact his local representative to take his anti-pollution message through the proper channels. 1:43:05 pm Neil: I completely agree. 1:43:07 pm Neil: He's a menace. 1:43:30 pm Matt: he shall have to be dealt with 1:43:36 pm Neil: TIME STYLE 1:43:36 pm Matt: TIME STYLE 1:43:41 pm Neil: hah 1:43:53 pm Matt: that shows as the same second here 1:44:22 pm Neil: I think that's worthy of being added to your latest blog post 1:44:26 pm Neil: with timestamps for the last part 1:44:28 pm Matt: I agree