Matt Gemmell

TOLL is available now!

An action-thriller novel — book 2 in the KESTREL series.

★★★★★ — Amazon

Why I Rule

personal 2 min read

If Chris can make a list of reasons why he rules so much 
(and believe me, <a href="">he can</a>), 
then so can I.
  1. I am engaged to be married to the lovely Fiona.
  2. I'm dangerously attractive.
  3. I own swords.
  4. I have great facial hair.
  5. I typically have about a 10:1 ratio of females:males represented in my phone's text message inbox.
  6. I have the best music collection on this planet.
  7. I am a legend with the ladies.
  8. I remember all of my dreams, every single night.
  9. In my dreams, I often vanquish entire armies of evil beings.
  10. I own my own car.
  11. I am worshipped and adored by my friends, family, readership and acquaintances in general.
  12. My driving music typically alternates between Thin Lizzy, and the Bullitt or Batman movie soundtracks.
  13. I am amazingly resistant to injury and illness.
  14. I am one of the all-time 7 greatest Hardcore Legends in the history of humanity.
  15. I can get away with just about anything.
  16. I make dramatic entrances by default.
  17. I've flown all over the world, for both business and pleasure.
  18. I have many female friends.
  19. I can somehow manage to get away with saying just about anything to those female friends.
  20. I freely admit to being a fan of chick flicks as well as more conventional guy films, yet I maintain all my coolness.
  21. Women assert that I rule.
  22. Women make lists of reasons that I rule.
  23. I know Neil Inglis.
  24. I have a Hot or Not double-match with Colleen McDermid.
  25. I am the world's foremost user of the words "acecore" and "ledgecore".
  26. I preach and follow the gospel of hardcore rock.
  27. I have been described as "'The Dude' cool".
  28. I have been referred to as the "Doctor of Love".
  29. I can accurately tell bra-size just by glancing at the female in question.
  30. I won the Face and Beard attractiveness categories.
  31. After having met me for the first time, and spoken to me for about 20 minutes, the girlfriend of one of my friends later remarked to him about me that whilst she'd met letches before, she could see I was The Master.
  32. Without embarrassment, I stop in the middle of the street and declare "Welcome to Legendville! Population: 1".
  33. I regularly save the city.
  34. If your band needs a genius on keyboards, I'm your man.
  35. I once stood on the roof of Notre Dame cathedral reciting dialogue from So I Married An Axe Murderer with the Photoshop evangelist from Adobe.
  36. Back when I used to design theoretical future computer interfaces, the Scenic Art Supervisor from Star Trek (Mike Okuda, who created the LCARS interface used in Next Gen, DS9, Voyager and the later movies) got in touch to say how much he liked my work.
  37. I once talked to Leonard Nimoy, Pam Anderson and Tim Curry within a single 24 hour period.
  38. I always instinctively know what time it is.
  39. I have a decent pagerank.
  40. And, of course... I'm a Mac user.
That'll do for now. I strongly encourage you to create your own such list, and post 
it on your blog.

Remember, in this life, you have to be your <em>own</em> biggest fan, 
because you can be sure that not many others will want the job. Especially 
if they already know me, obviously.